I Would Rather...

I would rather stick my hand in a blender full of hydrochloric acid than have to fight Casey Jones:





I would also rather:

• Take a shotgun blast to the crotch
  
• Eat a mixture of broken glass and gunpowder
  
• Be forced to spend the rest of my life in Detroit
  
• Get blowtorched in the eye
  
• Learn how to play the flute
  
• Have somebody smash my head into a wood chipper with a sledgehammer
  
• Bathe in a barrel of radioactive molten lava
  
• Swallow an active hand grenade
  
• Kiss Osama bin Ladin's bare ass
  
• Become a vegetarian